Well, I did it.....46 days alcohol free now.......

fussnfeathers · Lord of the Tweak Joined: 14 Dec 2004 Posts: 2763

Was time for me to quit, the decision was pretty much made when my doc gave me a year or less to live. My body just couldn't take any more abuse......up to two cases of beer or ten liters of wine a day is just too much.

Went into the hospital for a few days to detox, then went into rehab for 21 days. Now I'm in the middle of five weeks intensive outpatient, going to AA meetings ev every day.......just gotta deal with all the medical issues. I have neuropathy in both legs from the knees down, my brain has shrunk, my liver's enlarged, among other things. It'll all heal, eventually, I hope......

That and I just found my kids after 17 years.......still not sure what to do about that yet....
_________________
Big enough to scare you

Google · Sponsor

Xal · Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 1:11 am Post subject:

Congrats dude. Keep it up and try not to fall off the wagon. We're all pulling for ya.
_________________
Phenom II x4 955 @ Stock
Asus M3N78-EM
4gb Corsair XMS2 DDR2 667 @ 800
1gb Powercolor Radeon HD 5850 @ Stock
X-fi Extreme Audio PCI E
Nexus 600W Silent PSU
Nexus Fans
Custom case

[KoG]^weaZel · Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:58 pm Post subject:

FnF, our prayers will be with you. And I hope that you are still on your way to recovery.
_________________
I tweaked and it tweaked back! So I Tweaked some more!

"Barney is like the Michael Jackson of PBS." - James Tybeerious

fussnfeathers · Lord of the Tweak Joined: 14 Dec 2004 Posts: 2763

Yep, got my two month AA coin last week, got a new sponsor with 26 years, been going to meetings just about every night......been skipping Saturdays 'cause the only meeting nearby kinda sucks....still can't believe how much better I feel, now I just gotta work on the damage my body took.
_________________
Big enough to scare you

fussnfeathers · Lord of the Tweak Joined: 14 Dec 2004 Posts: 2763

Just a quick update, since my first post. Still clean, still plugging along. Truth is, I just don't have the desire anymore. Not even for one beer on a hot day. Part of is knowing that one beer would likely turn into more, but the greater part is that I just wanted to quit. I'm still rebuilding, but hey......it's worth it.

I did stop going to AA. I went faithfully for a couple of months after my last post, but it really wasn't the right thing for me. It was definitely helpful at first, I found out that I wasn't alone in this, and hearing how the old-timers had done it, and why, made a difference. The problem wasn't the 12 Steps thing, really, though it was to an extent. I really didn't agree with the whole set of principles, and to me, those rules could be just as addictive as the drug I got off of in the first place. The biggest problem was the people, and their attitude. At least here, it was a general defeatism thing, the people who went never seemed to get off the ground. Yes, they quit, but they were still miserable, dwelling every day on if they were going to make it without a relapse. I did have a sponsor, and I brought it up to him, and he agreed, it wasn't the thing for me. He only went once, maybe twice a week, he did need the reminder, and he was primarily going to give encouragement to the newbies. I just got tires of people convinced they could never do it, could never make it. I quit, that's the end of that.

The problem I'm having now, is the treatment you get. Used to be when I drank, you were sortof looked down on, but it was acceptable, you'd even get government help to quit if you wanted. Docs advised you to, the better parts of society told you to, hell, even the guy who runs the liquor store was the one who suggested the rehab I went to. Ironically, he and his staff are very supportive (I have to take returnable bottles there, so I still see them once every few weeks). The rest? Nobody believes you did it. I've got some medical conditions that had my doc advising me to get on disability (CIDP and the raging bipolar disorder I had masked for years), and I just got turned down today for the third time...........................................because I used to drink. They'd happily give you money when you are an addict, but they automatically think you've relapsed no matter what proof is given. The lawyer I had to hire eight months ago has seen it quite often. Say you're drinking, ask for help, get the help, but that just turns you into someone, if anything, worse than what you were.

Yeah, I'm depressed. I'm out of money, even if I could work, there's no jobs here (can't even get an interview at Burger King to be the fry guy). We're dipping into mom's retirement just to buy food (internet is getting cut off soon, just trying to keep it for when I start college in two months). I know why people relapse, you just don't know how to deal with stuff like this. I'm not going to, that decision was made last year, and I'm stubborn. Nothing is worth going back.

Fun, huh? Just gotta keep going, is all.
_________________
Big enough to scare you

fussnfeathers · Lord of the Tweak Joined: 14 Dec 2004 Posts: 2763

fussnfeathers · Lord of the Tweak Joined: 14 Dec 2004 Posts: 2763

argh.........I forgot we can't edit here. There's a line in the second quoted post I forgot to put in.
_________________
Big enough to scare you

dene · Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:59 pm Post subject:

Chin up Buddy! All will come better hopefully! Good to hear ya clean good work mate.
_________________
Josh Awards-3 ~ Josh Twinky-1~ Rocksteady-4 ~ HaM-1 ~ Money Money-1 ~ ж award-1~ Daffy-1

damian · TweakNOOB Joined: 22 Oct 2009 Posts: 13 Location: Texas

good to hear you quit. That's good real good. Best thing to do now is to do all the stuff in the back of your head that caught your interest.
If you ever had thoughts like "Hey i want to go surfing, or hey i should take up a kickboxing class" well do them. Stop thinking and get into stuff that will keep you active. Everyone has a hobby its just their brain is the most caniving laziest piece of sh*** organ we have and will make us think the worst, and stop us from doing anything that requires effort.

I just got off a nasty addiction too and life has never been so sweet! Paintballing, exercising, meeting woman et efffin cetra

Go back in time a little bro, and remember the activites you had fun doing. Take em' up

oh_fubar · TweakNOOB Joined: 05 Feb 2011 Posts: 17

Hi Fuss
I find it impressive that you are sharing this part of your life.
My Dad had the same problems with drink and distance from his kids.
I believe one of the things that helpped him the most was AA and being able to give support to someone else in the same boat .
That may be a way for you to Live that day at a time .
Best of luck to you !!

[TN] Nathan · ALMIGHTY PWNER! Joined: 14 Feb 2002 Posts: 7406

Fuss, hope you are still holding out. i wish you the best.
_________________
Owner & Administrator
www.Tweaknews.net
www.Pocketbookpinch.com

slugbug · TweakNOOB Joined: 22 May 2009 Posts: 109 Location: Canada

My brother in law has been sober for over a year now. He put my sister through hell for years and honestly didn't know why she stuck with him. He's a lot better to her now but in my book he's still a moron.